Doctor Seuss
by Lord Pyron
Summary: The Doctor arrives in a magical realm, where Seuss-ian characters all take the helm. The Sainted Physician who travels through time, lands in a realm where everything is said in rhyme!
1. The Beginning

Hello! This is my first attempt at an actual fan-fic work. If rhyming gives you a headache, get out now =D

And just for the record: DOCTOR Seuss writes about a town called WHOville, and his most famous character wears a FUNNY HAT, a BOW TIE, travels with two Things as COMPANIONS, and has a BIG RED BOX that's BIGGER ON THE INSIDE.

What Doctor am I using? I'm using my own. I can't do any iteration of the Doctor justice, so I'll just quickly kill off whatever Doctor you picture and make my own for the purposes of this story. No, that's not a spoiler, on the off chance you're actually reading this part (thank you if you are). Many apologies, but The Doctor is the same character, no matter which regeneration he's in, so I'll be true to that, rather than some actor's portrayal that I have no hope of capturing in words.

I don't know how often I'll be updating...maybe once a week hopefully? I really hope you enjoy this and that my rhymes don't get too stale =P

* * *

><p>It was a bright sunny day in the old land of Seuss.<p>

You could hear the soft song of the purple-backed moose.

There was nothing unusual about this fine day,

There was no need for thneeds to keep cold away,

It was pleasant and warm, but not hot or muggy

It was safe and secure, like a nice baby buggy

The sky was bright blue and the grass a sharp red

In a small piece of forest where no one had tread.

It was miles away from the bustling town

Where the everyday people were buzzing around

Getting errands done here and errands done there,

Like shaving a beard, or going to the fair,

Too busy to notice, to mind, or to care

About what's soon to happen up high in the air.

But here in the Forest of Lockter, you see,

There's nothing around except a couple of trees.

(Whose leaves are quite luckily all locked and shut

So there's no point in harvesting them to make who-knows-what)

And here in this forest is where it all started.

Where dozens of tourists will want to be carted

For the next dozen years, as this is the spot

Where the saviour of all was first found and caught.

A calm day it was, but it wasn't for long

As a great noise interrupted the moose and their song,

It was a looming, or grooming, or vrooming or sorts

That's all wrapped up in trapping on racquet ball forts

It startled the heart as it VWORP and it VWARPed

It was a wonderful sound, like an unearthly harp,

Like a wheezing or breezing of something quite old,

But yet, a totally new sound unfolds

It's a sound that's familiar yet unknown you,

And then came falling right out of the blue!

What made this great sound was then visible to all

And all of that VWARPing? A big distress call!

It spins and it twisted and pitched as it falls

Right onto the place where the Locktern trees sprawl.

It hammered ground with a mighty big THUMP

And left in its wake a mighty big lump!

But then it's revealed, in this small grove of trees,

A great big blue box lies for all there to see.


	2. The Foreshadowing

Hello all! Sorry for the delay. I have midterms. This one's a bit dry...I promise the next one will be better _ I have as much of the plot figured out so far as Moffat did when he wrote Silence in the Library. Trust me on that.

* * *

><p>For a time, there was quiet, and silence did fall<p>

But that didn't last for very long at all

The box landed sideways, the door facing down…

The entrance was buried a foot into the ground!

It rattled a round like a small baby's toy…

And it suddenly uttered a piercing noise!

A flashing appeared from the light on the roof

And it gave a big jerk, as if trying to move

But try as it might, it's still a big box

It just can't roll over the neighbouring rocks.

So then, it was still. But then the VWARPing began

And the sound echoed forth for a moment's time span.

It coughed and it choked and it wheezed and it whirred

While it flashed and it blinked while it's deep blue frame blurred.

And it faded away with a crackle and pop…

And it suddenly re-appeared right side up!

The box, it could leave, yes, but be glad that it stayed.

Behold the adventure that started today!

Yes, we should all cheer! Regret we will not!

But someone else soon will…and will get hurt...a lot…

...

Meanwhile, elsewhere, in another part of town

(or should I say, in a town, with no blue boxes around),

In a dark gloomy place, where the grickle-grass grew,

Where the earth lies deserted, and nothing grows anew,

A mumbling can be heard from one lonely old tower

(As well as some beeping, and a chime every hour

But the fact there's a digital clock there isn't the point)

Surrounded by factories and rusted shut joints.

And this mumbling went a little something like this:

"Oh my…oh my my my, what a twist!

I've been waiting…and waiting…and waiting for years

All these years and now finally, at last it appears!

The very same signal! The same type of score!

The same one as when he had left here before…

I'll find him this time…and make everything right!

I'll turn back the clock to before this everlasting night!


	3. The Regeneration

So...I've never actually written anything with dialogue before. I apologize for any clumsiness in that regard.

* * *

><p>The blue box stands proudly and strongly and true<p>

On its front: a white "pull to open" sign next to a door deep and blue.

The door opens slowly…and out a head pokes!

"I hate when this happens. My books are all soaked,"

Said a mysterious man as he steps out to the ground

And talks to himself, "Because the pool's upside down

In the library again! And let's not forget my socks

which by now are buried under that newly installed rock

climbing wall...I have no clue why that's there.

I suppose at the time that idea seemed fair

but so did the tree fort. I turned that into a bunk bed

and used the leaves for- hello…something poking around in my head?

What's this? A nagging in my brain? This..semes…eugh!

Oh bother…it's messengring with scest rindooglonk linguistamerk ofhe-

And with that this strange man suddenly doubled over in pain

With an AUGH! And a GAAAAH! From a splitting migraine.

Cause, you see, something chewed on his ability to think

(As his vision swirled from yellow to a very deep pink).

His ship was quite special, and it gets in the head

Of the captain and passengers up in its stead.

Usually, this slight modification

Would enable you to speak in any conversation

In any language throughout the universe in all time and space.

But this change is quite problematic in this case.

As you can see, in the realm of Suess, everything must rhyme

In all points in the universe and at all points in time,

So by entering this dimension, the intradimensional-morphic-field

Attempts to rewrite how you think and how you feel

Into structurally congruent homo-aural compounds.

And this happens to screw with any prior grounds

Made, especially in the linguistic centers of the brain.

The field will uproot any previous programming ingrained

And imprint itself in its place.

But this would feel like a train

And an airplane

Dropped from a crane

Through a water main

Slipping in the rain

Compressed through a storm drain

And energized by a high density plasmic core from the second moon of Elmafrain

Slowly entering your brain.

And that is why this man is in so much pain.

Normally this would kill someone.

...

But this raggedy man is not yet done.

The fire in his eyes is still burning bright…

Oh wait, that's not fire. It's a glowing golden light!

And it's literally burning and streaming from his eyes!

While he raises his hands…which are also glowing. To no surprise.

And with a BAM the light bursts from his head and his arms!

And he slowly stands up, as if nothing was harmed.

He lets out a scream, or a cheer, or a yell

(This regeneration is quite noisy so I can't really tell)

While his face is engulfed in the glowing gold light

And a new head pops out! To any onlooker's fright.

The glowing is done, he lets the energy disperse

"Well…that was fun. I suppose I've been through worse.

So apparently my brain's been rewritten against the TARDIS's will

To only converse in homo-audic compounds and trills.

Well to hell with that plan. Let's see, what doesn't rhyme…

Orange and Silver an- wait…am I actually ginger this time?"


	4. The Monologue

So I've realized that I'm really moving quite slowly, and I apologize for that. It's easy to have a lot of filler when you're rhyming. I promise to make more things happen in future parts!

* * *

><p>"Alright let's go through the list shall we?<p>

Hair, perfect…although I should shave this goatee.

Spawning facial hair. Well, that's something new

Ooh, fingers! Ten. Good. And legs! I've got those too.

Hearts? Beating. A bit fast. But then again I just died…

Cheeks are…a bit chubby. This face is a tad bit wide

But I've had worse I suppose. Oh dear, my eyes are too far apart.

New depth perception. And new teeth. I suppose I should start-

…

Sorry. Mind lapse. That's odd. I should never stop rambling

Once I've started going on like an addict of gambling

And that was a HORRIBLE simile. And maybe I should stop talking

To myself, but I wont, because I need to test whether this rocking

And rolling of soundings and crowdings of wonderful words will

Influence how I can think on the spot. So I'll blather until

I can figure this out. Yes, ok, let me try

And break up the meter. I don't like thinking my

Thoughts will be caught by the words that I know.

Then again, I can pretty much rhyme anything I want, like so:

Orange and silver and purple and month

Door hinges pilfer the curb all to Dunth.

Engine, vacuum, fugue and twelfth

Ancient hacks you Dukes of Gelth

And so on and so on, this really isn't tough,

But I think the English language's been defied enough.

So I seem to be thinking at capacity and- oh dear,

It seems as if I've snapped into a regular meter

Again. It's so natural, so I'm not sure whether

That's the IDMF tying me to a tether

Or if I'm just a brilliant poet. You know, this is

Starting to get kinda fun. I should try more of this

When I get back to my own dimension.

And that…would be problem number one.

If I go back in the TARDIS it will try to rewrite

my brain again. And to my horror and fright

I fear that may kill me yet another time

So I suppose I'll need to keep these rhymes

Around long enough for me to figure out

A way to nullify this bizzare couplet clout

In my head…but first I'll need some tech.

I wonder if I can find anything out in this wreck

Of a planet. It looks positively radioactive

With all these pastel colours…although it is somewhat attractive.

The moose here…are purple now. Purple is cool!

…And I'm still talking to myself like a fool.

Alright, second order of business is to find a reverse mental field graft-hardener

The first order of course is to find a new partner.


	5. The Quest

I haven't updated this for...about a year. Wow. Am I ever glad I made story notes waaaaaay back when I first thought this up, otherwise I would have lost it all forever. And I might have just given up on this too if I wasn't STILL getting reviews saying how awesome this is, even though I haven't touched it at all. Everyone that left a review is completely amazing and I thank you all so much for the support. It's you guys that convinced me that I should continue this.

Now that school's out of the way, I may finish this yet. Just maybe...

* * *

><p>So this strange man departed on his glorious quest!<p>

….but this forest really put his orienteering skills to the test

As you may have guessed from the rest of his turbulent thrills

Getting lost is one of his very best skills.

So he stopped for advice: "Why hello Mr. Squirrel!

I really love your fur, it's a wonderful shade of pearl.

Hm? Oh, I speak everything. Yes, even Chinese.

(Xiāngxìn wǒ, wǒ shì bóshì)

And I've never seen a tail quite so fluffy as this!

It's almost like silk! I think I'll call you Silky McWhisp!

So Silky, Do you happen to know where I can find a town?

I've been wandering in this forest and there's nothing around."

...

And Silky complied and led this man to a clear

Which gave way to a prairie, where you could hear

The kerfuffle of noise from a big traffic jam.

It looks like something is wrong on the new highway tram.

And when you get closer, you could maybe get a look

At these two brownish furry things that could almost be mistook

As bears, but they're not bears, they're actually Zax.

(Close cousins of the Kax from the planet Ephiteriax).

The Zax and the Kax have a large culture in their tracks

Where migratory patterns force them to never turn their backs

From the direction in which they are fixated, and they won't relax

Until they have travelled the full distance in their large Zax/Kax Packs.

...

But these two Zax are alone, and also stubborn to the max

A long solitude has fixed them in their tracks

One has a sharp ringing in its brain to go north

And only north, only north will suffice to go forth!

And the other is the same, only southward it walks

It will only walk south, into south it is locked!

And so it happened one day, a long time past

That the two lonely Zax found themselves on this grass

With no idea of which way was south, or north,

So they both took a guess, and from there carried forth.

But it was bound to happen at some time and place

One Zax ended up in the other one's face.

Their lifespans are up in the hundreds of earth years

So really, getting stuck like this can cause quite some fear,

Not for the Zax of course. They're stubborn and don't care at all.

But all the people around them are shocked and appalled

And so stuck there they were, never a step to the side

And they continue to argue, their mouths open wide.

"No, I will not move out of the way!

I said so back then, and I say so today!

I'm not moving south-east, or north-east or west!

I only walk north. That is my behest."

And the other poor creature said the same, but for south.

(It's amazing what stubbornness can come out of one's mouth).

...

But if anyone is saying anything amazing today

It ought to be the Doctor, and now it's his turn to play:

"Excuse me, good sirs. Or good Zax, as you are

If you could, would you please move away from these cars?

It's a simple request, and I think you will find

it much nicer once you've left each other behind"

But the North-Zax retorted: "I will gladly move, you see

The only problem is that this fur ball is standing in front of me."

"Oh quit your yapping, I've heard it all," said the Zax heading south,

"All this explaining over and over again spewing out of your mouth

Is driving me crazy! It's like you're Mr. Exposition

I'd have mauled you by now if it wasn't for our tradition"

The Doctor's eyes lit up "Oh tradition is this?

Would you mind giving me the exact wording, no turns and no twists,

Because you see, if you're really this stubborn, it must inherently overwrite

The natural biological urges to just get on with life,

And I really must say, you two have breath-taking dedication.

Talking to only one person this long usually requires medication."

...

So the Zax law is such: That the Zax must only move

In one direction, at the choosing at birth by the Zaxian Bruve

All points on the compass rose may be allowed.

Zax may travel alone, or in Zax Pack crowds.

But one must never strike down another being in the way

Simply stop and allow them to carry out their day

For there is no will like the Zax, none more humble or kind

The Zax travel the globe, never looking behind.

...

"Oh well that's an easy fix now, isn't it Silky?

Contracts are so much fun to make soggy and milky.

They must only move north or south, but here is the catch

It's never specified to WHICH north or south when they hatch.

I'd assume it's assigned by a mentalmorphic setting

Of an internal compass, a psychic abetting

Should fix this up right. I'll just adjust that compass needle

To the north of some other planet, if my mind not be feeble.

And now let me see, what system's erratic enough…

Oh I know! The third moon of the planet Aluff

It switches polarity about once every day,

So never in one direction shall you stay!"

And the Doctor knelt inward and put his head to theirs

But it wasn't just to help them, the poor stubborn bears,

While he tinkered around with their mentalmorphic grid

He also took a look into what knowledge they hid

Some ancient creatures, these Zax, and oh have they seen the world

And into the good Doctor's head all these facts unfurled.

He saw luscious great forests cut down into waste

He saw turtle towers built and then ground into paste

He saw birds with huge tails and elephants on eggs

He saw walking green pants and 23 Daves.

...

But most importantly he saw several pinnacles of creation

Technology millennia ahead of earth civilization.

He spotted the six things he'd need to escape this planet intact

Well, five things and a fox, as a matter-of-fact

So he'd travel the world, on foot like a gardener

For his reverse thrust transmental chi-psi-field graft-hardener.

But the Zax obviously didn't care about this.

And it was all rather boring for Silky McWhisp

He found a nut. It's was a good nut. Very very yummy

Like most companions, his solo adventures are somewhat crummy.

And so the compasses swirled and as such did the Zax

Leave their spots and step right around one another's tracks.

If you followed their trail for the next hundred years

Any semblance of straightness would soon disappear.

So the crisis was averted, and the highway would be built

And development continued like some large patchwork quilt.

...

"It feels good to help society advance on its way"

Said the Doctor, feeling good about himself today.

"Oh there you are Silky, come on, let's get some things.

I like 'thing' it's a good word, a rather nice ring

Ooh- there's stuff that-a-way, my detector went ding.

You know any songs? Can squirrels even sing? …"

And off heads the Doctor, on foot, making tracks

The first stop on the map: The Obelisk of the Zax


End file.
